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| Well it seems that I have caused myself to have either an ulcer or a galbladder issue. Went to the Drs today because of this pain I've had since Sunday night that has kept me awake ALL night long and he tells me he thinks it's most likely an ulcer but coul be my galbladder. LOVELY. Just what I need the week that Reuben is taking Taylor camping for the weekend and I won't see her for 5 days.
They are going camping Sat - Monday, coming home Monday and he'll have her until Wednesday. Ugh, I already know I'm going to be stressed about that. I hope I'll be o.k. I went and picked up lots of books to keep me busy. I need prayers though to get me through not being around my baby girl.
I go back to the Drs. on Friday for a follow up. They took blood and urine. I think I have a yeast infection too. Ugh. I just want to feel good again. I just want to feel normal again. Why can't I feel normal? | | |
| So I called Diane to let her know that I did not feel comfortable with her taking Taylor to see her parents this fall. Man was she PISSED. She said goodbye and hung up on me. I called her back and told her that I really didn't appreciate being hung up on like that because of a decision that I made as a mother. She asked me what I didn't feel comfortable with, was it the plane, her, what? I told her exactly what it is, that I don't like Taylor being that FAR away from me at this age. Maybe when she's older but not right now.
She was still pissed off and so be it, I don't care anymore. She said that her and REuben will go up there. DO you think I should send her great grandparents a letter explaining to them and saying I'm sorry that she can't come up there right now? THen she tried to put the guilt trip on me that her parents aren't going to be coming down here anymore because she is moving to New Mexico. Not my problem that you decided to move to New Mexico. And if she thinks I'm going to send Taylor down there for the summers like she did to REuben she's got another thing coming, not going to happen. FOr the most part 99% of the people I've talked to have agreed with me and that they also wouldn't send there kids off with the MIL or in this case REuben's Mother.
I'm just not comfortable. Period. End of Story!!
I need to learn to be a stronger person. Like my dear friend Jill. I need to be more like her. | | |
| I sent this email to Reuben yesterday, we'll see how he reacts. I'll let you know.
Reuben,
We need to talk about this whole situation about your Mom wanting to take Taylor up to see her parents. For right now I have told your mother No. I think she is too young and I'm just not comfortable with the idea. Your Grandparents have seen Taylor 4 times, they are SO lucky to have seen her and spend that much time with her.
Your mother's argument to me was that I drove 6 hours to see my Grandmother and yes we drove up to New Jersey but we drove up there for an 50th anniversary party for my Mom's Aunt and we stopped by the nursing home on our way out of town for 1 hour to see my Grandmother. We didn't specifically go up to see my Grandma and we didn't go back up there again. I could have but I decided that it was just too much.
I don't think that I should be the one fighting with your mother about this. Maybe you want her to go, I don't know, you won't answer your damn phone but regardless I don't want her to go and unfortunately or fortunately I have the final say in this.
I also want to talk to you about your "beach" trip at the end of August. I am very concerned with last weeks events. Go ahead and call me up right now and tell me your going to take me back to court because I know that's what your thinking. Neither one of us want to play that game. I think it would be in your best interest to sty in town with Taylor those days and do something with her here. You don't need to be spending all that money on a hotel when it's the last week of the summer before school starts and it's very expensive, especially since your so concerned about being able to afford your apartment.
We need to sit down and have a serious talk about these events that have happened. I need you to be calm and understand where I am coming from and try and put yourself in my shoes for just 1 second and see where I'm coming from. Pretend that I threatened suicide and drove home drunk. How would you react to me???? Think about it for a few minutes before you answer. How would you really react if I wanted to commit suicide and I was responsible for your daughter? What would you do?
You know I care about you and I care about how you feel and I care about your well being. It's not my place to think that your crazy for trying to stay with Susan but then again it is my place to not think that it's the best situation for Taylor.
With that said. Please call me CALMLY so we can talk.
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| Reuben thinks I'm trying to make Babygirl afraid of flying???? What kind of mother would I be if I tried to make my kid afraid of everything I was? Do you think I want my kid to end up as afraid of everything as I am?? I mean honestly, I wouldn't wish that upon anyone.
Just talked to Diane on the phone and she's all pissed off at me. Ended up hanging up on me (Must run in the family  ), because she finally just said "let me ask you a question." Would you let me take Babygirl to Mass. by mysel?" It took me all of .2 seconds to say "NO" and then she hung up on me. I mean come on lady, I wouldn't let my own mother, who I trust with my life to take Babygirl on a plane out of the state. Diane has to take a Xanax when she flies. How is she going to take care of Babygirl if she's on a Xanax. I mean I've taken Xanax before and yeah I can function on 1/2 of one but doesn't mean that I take it when I'm alone with Babygirl "JUST IN CASE", ya know what I mean?
Before Diane hung up on me she said something to the fact that I drove 6 hours with Babygirl in the car to go see my Grandmother. Fact #1: We drove to New Jersey for my Aunt's 50th Wedding Anniversary; Fact #2: My Grandmother was in a nursing home, we stopped by on our way out of town to see her. I knew that was going to be brought up sooner or later, "how come you get to do what you want to do but Reuben can't, he has just as many rights". Maybe so but "I don't trust him..PERIOD!! And I certainly don't trust him after all that shit that he pulled last week. So she thinks that because I don't trust him that I don't trust her. Well to some extent that's kind of true, I don't trust a lot of people with my kid, it's just the way that I am.
So now what do I do? I hate this fighting, it's really starting to wear me down and cause me un-necessary stress and anxiety. | | |
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